I hear from clients just about every day that they need an apology from someone that hurt them. Some clients can't move forward and heal nor forgive until they receive the apology that they feel is needed happens first. The problem is that they may never receive an apology. The truth is that sometimes the person who they feel hurt by does not even know that they hurt them. Often when a person is hurt, they do not express their hurt right away to the person that they feel has hurt them. They are actually assuming that the person should know. Second, a person may not feel that they need to apologize. They might have the attitude that they have done nothing wrong. They might even say that the truth hurts or that thicker skin is needed by the person who feels harmed. Third, some people do not want to be the bad guy so they may never admit to hurting someone even when it is obvious that they have.
Why will you be just fine without an expected apology? Because you are choosing to own your power by not needing an apology. By needing an apology, a person makes themselves a prisoner of the person who they feel has harmed them. Do not give anyone power over you. You can move forward and heal. You can even forgive the person without that expected apology.
Remember that our unhealed wounds are where the hurt often comes from. So if a person who is in your life hurts you, see it as a sign from the universe to heal that pain internally. Often a hurt whether it is a betrayal, being lied to or cheated on etc., has a spiritual root that has started earlier in life. The current hurt is a reminder to heal past pain. Turn the pain around and take your power back. Tell yourself that you are aware of the pain and that you are ready to be set free. Setting yourself free does not rely on receiving an apology. I have learned from clients that even though they have received an apology, their pain is still there. Needing an apology is often an assumption that healing can’t occur without it.
People who are hurting do hurt others. Remind yourself that healthy, loving, strong and positive people do not cause intentional harm. Only emotionally wounded people will intentional harm someone. Sometimes a person may hurt us when that is not their intention. Stay away from the person who is causing harm but turn your pain into compassion for that person which will in return heal your pain.
Freedom from hurt is what we give ourselves. No one can give this to us. Each person is born with all of the power to see themselves free from pain. It takes a new perspective to initiate healing. It may take time. Think of how the pain and hurt is holding you back from living the joyful and abundant life because you are waiting on an apology that may never happen. You can’t create abundance when hurting. Do not cheat yourself out of joy because of the pain another has caused you.
Your self-worth is not in anyone's hands. No matter what someone has done to you they do not own you. Do not let a painful experience define your worth. An apology won’t give back your worth. Remember that you have the ability to process, heal and to forgive pain without being a prisoner to an apology.
TAPPING TO HEAL THE NEED FOR AN APOLOGY
Karate chop- Even though I need an apology because of the hurt I feel and I find it hard to heal, I love honor and accept myself
Even though I feel that I must receive an apology from (insert name) or else the pain won’t go away. I love honor, accept and respect myself.
Even though this hurt, this pain is deep and it won’t ease up less I receive an apology from (insert name). I love myself deeply because I am worthy of peace.
Above the eye - I really need this apology
Side of the eye - I really need this apology
Under the eye - I must receive this apology
Under the nose - The hurt that I feel is strong; I must receive an apology from (insert name)
Chin - The hurt is too great
Chest - I don’t want to feel this pain so I must receive an apology, I deserve an apology
Under the arm - I demand an apology or else I can’t forgive
Top of the head - I won’t be free until I receive my apology
The positive tapping
Eyebrow- So what if they never apologize
Side of eye - I will survive. I am surviving now
Under the eye - I am worthy of peace even if I never receive my deserved apology
Under the nose - I can give myself peace
Chin - I deserve to be happy and free of this hurt
Chest - I love myself so I know that I can let go of what is hurting me
Under the arm - I am an amazing and caring person so I will show myself love by healing my pain without that apology
Top of the head - I love myself so much therefore I do not need that apology. I forgive without that apology