I know we just finished the Holiday season but Valentines Day is around the corner. It is the single most hardest day for me to work. I rather hide on Valentines Day. I can hear it already. The comments on “ why am I still single? “Everyone else has a partner except me. “
The sadness of feeling like they are missing out on receiving gifts and cards on V-Day triggers pain and disappointment that is also defeating. Most of my clients who call on Valentines Day are feeling the pinch of not having a partner.
I try to tell them that Valentines Day is just one day. That it is easy to receive, cards, gifts and affection on a holiday because of the social peer pressure.Truthfully, it is what a person gives to their partner on a non-holiday that decides the health fo the relationship. It is not that comforting to a woman who want to have the Valentines Day experience.
Let’s get to it. Why is it that some people who are dying to be in a relationship are still single months later if not for several years despite all of their efforts to find a partner? They have tried everything from dating sites, matchmaking services, going to parties, etc. You name it and the effort has been put forth just to come up empty and left feeling frustrated. Then there is the feeling of doom. The fear of being destined to be single.
After 16 years of doing readings and coaching with relationships being the number one question that is asked, I KNOW THE ANSWER! You are blocking love unconsciously! Yes, it is true. You would never ever in your conscious mind block what you desire for yourself but you will unconsciously.
What do I mean by unconsciously blocking love? Due to a past hurt or bad break up, you have stored the belief that you will never be hurt ever again. No one will hurt you or make a fool of you. You will never waste your time on a non-working relationship. No more liars, cheaters or jerks for you. No way! Not ever! You are not going to ever suffer again.
What’s wrong with not wanting to get hurt? Nothing. Who wants to get hurt? The problem is in the approach to protecting yourself from pain. You have unconsciously built up a wall around your heart. Which means that you might not even have the energy or the faith to go out on a date. You look online and search your matches but you start to think of what can go wrong. So you do not even bother going out. Then you start to feel discouraged. Or you decide to actually meet the person but you spend your time looking for what can go wrong. You are busy looking for faults not because you are critical but because you are making sure that the new guy is nothing like the past partners that you have encountered. You have a mental checklist of what you are looking for in order to feel safe.
Sometimes, you will even allow yourself to have a relationship but as time goes on, you might be waiting for the other shoe to drop. Your partner is ideal but it is too good to be true. So you start testing your partner looking for their crazy. You end up pushing your partner away which means that you have sabotaged a good thing out of protection.
What’s a girl to do? How do you fix this so that you can attract your ideal relationship that you deserve?
First, you have to admit that you have been hurt and that pain is still with you.
Then start healing the pain which may include counseling.
Forgive the person who has hurt you so that you are no longer their prisoner. Forgiveness gives you your power back.
Most important is to stop worrying about picking the wrong person.
Love is always a risk. People are unpredictable. Take it day by day. You will catch the signs if something is wrong. Know that you are strong enough and smart enough to see the signs. Healing the past pain will make you alert to what you need to look out for in the future without needing to focus on it all day long.
Energy is powerful. You are powerful. Your subconscious can override your desires. We will naturally protect ourselves from any perceived harm. The key is to know when there is really harm and not just fear of being harmed. Understanding your relationship blocks will give you the power to attract a dream partner without all of the stress and effort. Healing the pain in your subconscious is the key to changing your dating energy into a more positive energy which will allow for love to flow into your life.