Even in 2018, women are still struggling with trying to be nice instead of speaking their truth. I hear it over and over that they do not want to be seen as pushy, bossy and certainly not a b*tch.
It stems from not feeling worthy of speaking her truth and asking for what she wants. The problem is that it causes her to shrink. She will never be able to co create and manifest her desired life because she is not being clear. She is hoping that things will work out for her as long as she is nice and patient.
There are four main reasons why women are not being assertive. All reasons are fear based.
1.They want to be seen as different from other women. I hear it a lot from women that they are trying so hard to be different to the point of not even being authentic. When a woman tries to be unique, she will lose herself because of the constant effort to make sure that she is different from her perception of how other women are behaving. She is fearing that she will not stand out or be enough if she resembles other women.
2.She is trying to impress a man. She fears that she won’t be enough for him if she resembles any of his past relationship partners. There is a fear that in order for it to work out with him she must be nothing like his ex’s.
3.She was raised that women are to be seen as pretty and sit quietly unless addressed. She fears that speaking her truth is being demanding. She fears rocking the boat.
She fears that she will not receive what she desires and will be disappointed. She figures why bother asking.
It needs to be understand that there is a difference in being demanding versus being assertive. Being assertive means speaking your needs and wants for yourself. Assertive behavior means setting boundaries, saying no when needed and not being pushed around. It includes being comfortable validating yourself. Being demanding is not respecting other people’s boundaries and expecting them to meet your demands even when they say no.
Avoid losing yourself and not being authentic by no longer being caught up in the fear of being pushy, demanding or like other women. Being yourself, assertive self is the goal always. It takes practice.