Lessons learned from my past experience as a desperate coach wanting to make it online

September 17, 2019

I have been doing intuitive coaching for the past 18 years. I spent the first 13 years coaching in a nice cocoon. I had all of the clients that I wanted. I worked in a small private local practice that I created and a private online platform. I was busy.  I started to become exhausted. I would eventually burnout.  Also, the platform controlled how I coached. I wanted to expand my reach. Of course, that meant learning social media.

 

I found social media to be very overwhelming. I went from being a big fish in a medium size pond to being a nobody. I was just another wannabe coach trying to grow a business. I was confused about how to do it. I followed every business coach and guru on Facebook. I wanted to be like them. I tried to understand and mimic what they were doing. I felt foolish and fake.

 

 I was scared. I knew that I wanted to reinvent myself. I tried everything to succeed. I started buying every coaching program, marketing, and mindset program that was being sold. I was desperate. You could have sold me a unicorn farm and I would have bought it.  I believed every influencer. I was spending money that I did not have.

 

Every time I bought a program, the person selling the coaching program would say that you have to invest in yourself. I felt that I needed to take the leap. Some programs cost several thousands of dollars. I could not afford to buy anything. I hoped that each time I bought a program that it would be my rescue. It wasn’t. I did notice some people having success with the programs that I bought but only a small fraction. I thought that maybe the people who did not have success did not put in the effort. I was different. I followed every step. I treated the programs as if I was in college again. I was serious. Still no success.

 

When a person succeeds with the program, the person selling it will push for a testimonial so that they can scream how great their program is. When a person does not have success, the person selling the program will deflect and blame the person. The common thing said is that the person did not do the work. First of all, no program works for everyone. No guarantees can be made. I learned that at the end of the day I have to save myself. No program can save me. If they weren’t willing to accept my failure than they can’t take credit for my success.

 

I am a knowledge junkie by nature. I am addicted to learning. I know that I had to learn the social media ropes. It would crush me to see people go viral and have their breakthrough. I felt like a failure. I was trying my hardest buying everything I could trying to succeed. I recently went trough a program that made me feel lost and confused. I was too woo woo. It was not a fit for me. Even though I asked plenty of questions, I was told that it will work during the discovery call. It turned out to be a good lesson to stop the madness. My guides were screaming to me to stop it now! No more buying business systems. Take action from an intuitive direction. I did that and I felt like me again. It took almost six years of being the desperate and thirsty coach to finally stop the madness.

 

What I learned from buying every bleeping program

 

You must have self-confidence. Do not let anyone tell you that you are not confident enough. Unfortunately, some people will look for your vulnerable spot. I always felt confident. Being desperate to succeed online made me vulnerable. I felt great in every aspect of my life except for being a successful online coach. I made a great six figure salary. I was making my great income mostly from a controlled platform that did not give me room to expand. I had to play by their rules. My clients belonged to the platform. I wanted to sell courses and hold workshops. I needed to get my name out there. There are thousands of coaches online. I was just one of many. I was not standing out enough. I was not confident online and it costs me financially.

 

Just because you are not a big shot influencer with thousands of likes does not mean that you are not good. I started to reflect on my coaching career. I had regular clients who came to me with trust whenever they had a tough decision or issue going on. I had clients who I knew for years. I have built great relationships with my clients. I forgot what I have contributed because I was so busy seeking more.

 

You need to trust yourself. As a coach, I teach my clients how to trust their judgement. I have always trusted mine no matter what. I let desperation get in the way. Every one has moments of doubt, fear, and confusion. Just do not let it consume you.

 

No one can show you the way. I was looking to be rescued. I wanted to have a testimonial from one of the many programs that I bought saying what a success I was. I wanted that spotlight. It never happened for me. I realized that I have always known enough. I have helped other business people with their mindset along the way. But I am always open to learn more. I never want to be cocky and think that I knew it all. I sought knowledge. In the end, I was enough and I knew enough.  That is what I teach my clients. That applies in all areas of life even business.

 

Create your own business system. I decided that I would look at everything that I learned from the many programs. I looked at what was not working and what could work. I created my own system that fit me. I am multi- passionate coach and a woo. I need to keep my multi niche spiritual flair. I cant hide myself in order to fit into a box. In the end your success if your responsibility.

 

Be authentic 100% of the time! I was acting like a chameleon when launching. My posts on my Facebook page were transparent but my launches were desperate and not me. I wanted to post more about myself but I was told that my story was depressing by one of the coaches. I altered my story. My launch flopped. I decided that I would tell my story when I relaunched. It worked. You can’t attract clients from a false place. If you are worried about winning people over and not sounding bubbly, you will fail. People want your truth and your experience. Not another expert with a perfect life.

 

I am not saying not to buy business systems. There is a lot of great information in each one that I bought. I am saying do not expect it to make you successful in business. Only you can do that. The best way to be success is to connect to your audience from an authentic place. People are buying you not a business system. Once you realize that you are enough, clients will come to you.

 

Mindset is everything. You are your brand. There will always be plenty of people selling programs on Facebook. Even on LinkedIn, your inbox will be full of people promising to deliver your ideal business life. If you buy from anyone, get to know them first. Study their posts and their interests in you when they are not selling to you. Too many are active while launching and gone once their launch is over. Minimize the information that you receive. Too much information can create confusion.

 

Social media creates this urgency for success. Do not fall for it. Especially when you see your peers having success. Do you. Be you. Stay on your own schedule. Attract from an authentic place always.

 

 

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