Authenticity is a part of setting boundaries

Setting boundaries is a part of being authentic. I have been coaching for many years and the hardest thing that I have come across with coaching a client is that it is important to set boundaries.


A lot of times a client does not understand that setting a boundary is not about being mean, forceful, or aggressive. Boundaries are about teaching someone what you need and how to treat you.


I have heard clients say they do not want to set a boundary because they do not want to push the person away, or they do not want to sound aggressive or demanding. And often it is a woman who fears setting a boundary. As a woman, we have been conditioned to be soft, gentle, and kind. Setting boundaries can make a woman feel that she is not being feminine. It becomes a problem when you do not set boundaries because then you cannot have clear and healthy relationships. Friendships will have conflict. So will romantic relationships. The reason why is because boundaries are a necessary part of communicating. A person who does not set boundaries will feel unheard and not validated.

I noticed that people who do not set boundaries also have a lot of issues communicating what they need because of the fear of setting a boundary because they do not want to look aggressive. Not setting a boundary stops them from being authentic and truly connecting with people.


Boundaries are a form of communication. Boundaries are a necessary form of communication. It is particularly important to have balance. Setting boundaries creates balance within relationships. Give and take is easily established. You are able to have your needs met with ease. If you do not have boundaries you will not know where you stand with people and people will not know where they stand with you.


But in order to have boundaries, you have to break the social conditioning that boundaries are bad. Boundaries have been used in bad ways, sure. When people are mad or aggressive, they will say, “that’s my boundary and that’s it “. But really boundaries are easy. They are soft. They are just very direct communication. A direct form of communication. And a direct flow of communication. I hear it often from women that they do not want to set a boundary with a romantic partner because they do not want to push the partner away.

They feel that if the partner loves them, that partner should know what they need. They feel that they should not have to tell them or set a boundary with them. Well, this is where the frustration comes in when it comes to relationships because your partner cannot know what you need unless you Tell Them! Even if they love you.


Love is a feeling. It does not equal, clear communication, or being able to read your mind. If your partner has a problem with you setting a boundary, you have work to do in that relationship. That relationship may not be the best relationship for you. Relationships without boundaries, usually do not last because the couple will lose themselves within each other. And they lose their identity. And eventually, the relationship falls apart.


Another false belief that when you are in a relationship, you are supposed to mesh into one. Well, that is impossible. You are not supposed to be one person. You are supposed to be two individuals loving each other and helping each other to grow. Chemistry and romance do not mean that you should not set boundaries. Chemistry and romance just make it worth being together. Not setting boundaries in a relationship are a disaster waiting to happen. That will lead to a bad relationship. Or a breakup.


I noticed that it is hard for someone to set a boundary when they have abandonment issues. If you fear someone leaving, you will not set any boundaries or say anything. You will always be a prisoner to that fear. But if you do not have clear communication, you never feel like the person's going to stay. You are always going to feel like they will leave you. It is important to heal that abandonment issue. The fear of being left. The fear of being alone will stop you from being your true authentic self.


What do I mean by being authentic? Being authentic means being who you truly are. It does not mean just being honest, because people are honest in a lot of ways. They are not true to themselves at the same time. When you are true to yourself and you speak your needs by setting boundaries, you show people who you truly are.

Being authentic is not always easy for people. Especially for women because of our social conditioning to be soft and feminine We're conditioned to doubt ourselves and question ourselves.


The journey to becoming authentic is necessary. You cannot manifest without being authentic. The universe must feel your truth. The best way to do it is to really be honest with yourself. You can journal, you can go to therapy, and you can write down how you feel. Practice saying what you need. You can practice by working on your throat chakra and feeling safe speaking your truth' Heal your abandonment issues. Heal any abuse that you may have experienced in the past. Trust that the right person is going to stay and work it out with you.


It can be scary to find out if you are with the right person or not. But you have to know if you are with the right person so that you can move forward and have a healthy life. Also, you can take my course on becoming an authentic goddess. It will take you through all the stages of feeling more comfortable with being your authentic self. There are six modules, 49 lessons in total within the six modules. Special Price 47 dollars!

Authentic Goddess | Dr. Donna's Get Your Shift Together School (teachable.com)


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