How to know who to take advice from in your personal life
A lot of my clients seek me out because they do not have anyone to give them objective advice. That is often the reason why many people seek out a coach, a psychic, or a therapist. I do feel that it is for the best to do so. I always say it is better to contact a coach, a psychic, our therapists, et cetera because you do not want to drain your friends or family members.
It is better to share yourself in an honest way with the people in your life. But not in an overwhelming manner. Therefore, when a problem arises, I always say seek out a professional. It can often feel kind of sad and lonely not having someone in your life to confide in. I know that some people feel bad that they have to pay for advice. This blog is about how to trust who you should get advice from in your personal life.
I hear it from clients often. Their friends will give advice, but it is naturally bias or slanted. It can often come out negative because they do not understand all the factors. It is easy to say that if someone is not acting a certain way, just drop them.
It is easy to say, but often hard to do. And what I have learned in my personal experience and listening to clients that often people who give him advice do not take their own advice. They give it to others, but they will not take their own advice because they realize how hard it is to do.
It is quite easy to tell someone else what to do because you are not suffering the consequences. The person receiving the advice has to live with the outcome. So, what I always tell my clients, whether they listen to me or anyone else, is that they have to live with the outcome and do not do anything that they are not ready for.
I get them ready for the decision that they want to make so that they do not have any regrets. The choices that we make are our responsibility. We cannot blame someone because we listened to them. The result lies with us. The decision-making lies with us.
How do you find the right confidant? I have two that I have known for many years. I trust their purity with giving advice. I know it is from a good place.
These are the things that I look for.
1. The first thing that I look for is does a person appears to have a kind heart? Do they speak kindly about others? Most of the time, do they speak kindly about themselves?
2. Do they want the best for other people? Are they comfortable with seeing other people happy? Are they comfortable with people having more than what they have? Can they truly feel joy for other people?
3. The next thing I look for if they do their own personal development or spiritual work. A person who is open to working on themselves regularly is someone to listen to because they are able to have more of an open mind. A person who is working on themselves will speak from a more healed standpoint versus a traumatic standpoint of what went wrong in their life. Therefore, if you mentioned a bad relationship or a relationship that you think is bad when they give advice, it is from a healthy standpoint. And not from their own experiences with bad relationships.
4. Does a person walk their talk? That is what it means really comes down to how are they living? Do they take responsibility for their mistakes? Do they blame others, a person who you want to listen to takes responsibility for their choices? They do not blame other people.
5. Have they learned to rise above the ashes. Yes, they can have down moments like anybody else, but how do they respond when there is an unfortunate situation. That is what counts.
6. Also, you want to know that this person is really speaking from a pure place and you can know it by how you feel listening to them. Have you ever just listened to a person? And it just does not resonate. It does not feel kind. It does not feel soft whether it is good news or bad news. They just do not resonate. Well, a person that you could take advice from knows how to deliver something bad or something negative in a way that does not leave you feeling awful.
When you seek advice from a person is it from a good place. Bringing up your past instead of where you are currently. And really respecting who you are as a person.
The two people that I get the most advice from have always been pure with me, whether it is good news or bad news. They have never responded in a negative place. Even when I had a hard time, they showed up with love and concern. And that is what you want to look for. Someone who can spiritually hold your hand.
But remember, you do not want to overdo it. You do not want to drain them with your daily issues is just here and there. They are not coaching or therapists who deal with daily issues. It is not fair to them to make them your advisor. You do not take advantage of it. Never ask a non-professional to be your therapist. It is not fair to them or to you.
Another note is even when you are seeking advice from a professional, make sure that you are not looking to hear what you want to hear. That is not growth. That will keep you stuck. I recommend having a team of professionals. Have a therapist, a coach, and a psychic. Be open to different perspectives. That is how you achieve the life that you desire. The universe responds to our willingness to grow.